"How to prepare yourself for a good end of life"

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and I thought it had some good thoughts:
https://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/openforum/article/How-to-prepare-yourself-for-the-good-end-of-life-13622599.php
(When you use the link, you may be asked to subscribe to the San Francisco Chronicle, but just close that pop-up window and you should be able to read the article...)

The article brings up some important considerations -- one of the things I have been thinking a lot about was presented as "find your posse". In walking with Dwayne through the his hospitalizations in the last few months of his life, I realized that it is really critical to have someone walking through that path with you... the person who is sick and/or hospitalized is often not fully aware of all that is going on - their sleep patterns are disturbed, they are on various medications and monitors -- even being in the hospital with him and *not* sick (as I was at the time) was disrupting and confusing. To be sick and trying to manage decisions at the same time... I think is too much to contemplate.

One of the recommended things that GriefShare has had me do is to list all the "people" I lost in losing Dwayne -- the fact that I lost my husband is obvious. But, I also lost, for example:

• my companion, 
• my lover, 
• the person who traveled with me, 
• my mechanic, 
• my gourmet cook, 
• my person to bounce ideas off of, 
• my prayer partner, 
• my encourager, 
• my Bible study partner, 
• the shoulder on which I could cry, 
• the person that I knew so well that I could plan things for us to do that I knew he would enjoy doing, and he would be so appreciative of the things I planned,
• my friend... 
• and I lost the person who would be the primary person in that "posse" that the article talks about.

I suppose it is natural that I contemplate my own death more now than I have before - not in a sense of thinking of taking my life - that isn't a thought at all... but, I definitely have spent time thinking about, "What would I do if I got a cancer diagnosis?" (Answer: "Hallelujah! God has stamped my exit ticket!!!") and, "How could I make it easier for whomever has to deal with my body and my estate when I am gone?" (pre-planning and pre-paying for final disposition of my body and ToD (Transfer on Death) definitions on accounts), and I have thought about being a single person and not wanting to be a burden for anyone - I have confidence that God knows what I will need and will provide, so I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it, but it does cross my mind!

Tomorrow (Sunday) is the 5th month-versary of Dwayne's death... and Monday will be the first time in 30 years that he won't be here to celebrate my birthday with me... I suppose it is also "natural" that my tears are a bit more closer to the surface this weekend. I am so thankful that scripture doesn't tell me, "Don't grieve", but rather,

¹³ But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. ¹⁴ For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁵ For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁶ For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. ¹⁸ Therefore encourage one another with these words. (I Thessalonians 4:13-18 ESV)

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. ² In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. ⁴ And you know the way to where I am going.” ⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” ⁶ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14:1-7 ESV)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

² a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
³ a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴ a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance; (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 ESV)

So, I grieve my own earthly loss, my loss of the wonderful, gentle man with whom God blessed me, who filled those roles that I listed above (and many others!). But, I don't grieve as one who has no hope, but rather I am walking through this time of mourning as one who can hold onto the most incredible hope in the world and the promise of a home in heaven with my Savior!