Thankful for clean water

Over the past few weeks/days, I had been noticing that my water pressure in the bus was low, and that there was an odor to the water, particularly if I was drawing hot water.

I decided this past weekend that it was time to try to find out what the problem was. I asked one of my RV park neighbors if she had noticed a bad smell to the water, and she had not, so I figured it was a problem with my water, not the park. I first drew some water directly from the spigot - no smell. Then I disconnected the hose from the rig and smelled the water coming out of the hose - no smell. So... somewhere in the bus, the water was acquiring a smell - since it was particularly noticeable with hot water, I was concerned it could be the water heater, but I decided to look at the water filter.

Dwayne had put a label on the filter the last time it was changed, 11/1/2018, indicating that it should be changed again on May 1, 2019... I had obviously missed that date. We already had ordered a replacement filter, so it was on the bus. I found it, and then tried to loosen the housing that holds the filter - the housing is about 6-7" in diameter, hard for me to get my hands around, and smooth plastic, hard to get a grip. I just couldn't get it loosened. I prayed for help and tried again, but still couldn't loosen it. I looked around the RV park to see if anyone was outside - but it was hot and mid-afternoon, no one out and about. I prayed God would send help, still nothing. I decided I'd just be patient and in a few minutes, my neighbor came walking back to his rig. I asked if he could give me a hand - he readily agreed and came to see what I needed. When he first saw it, he said, "Wow, that's big!" (I could have told him that *everything* about Miss Doozie is big, thus her name!) - when he first tried, he also had no success, but when he tried a second time, it came loose! Hallelujah!

When we got it totally loose, I definitely smelled the same smell in there that had been coming out of my faucets. I pulled out the old filter, washed out the housing, and put the new filter in. Then I tried drawing water through the faucets in the bus. Initially, it was dirty and nasty water, but in a few minutes, it cleared up - clear, clean, non-smelly water! What a joy!!!

I've made a new label to remind me to change the filter in 6 months. I will be watching out for any signs that the water is getting smelly or discolored. I'm thinking I might do it sooner than 6 months just to be sure...

By the way, we don't cook or drink the tap water, so it was only when I was washing dishes or showering that I noticed the smell - it still kinda grosses me out that I washed dishes and myself with this rather nasty water... but I'm choosing not to think about it!!!

Another industrious spider

I posted a few weeks ago about the spider that had built a web outside the bus (http://trekincartwrights.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-industrious-spiders.html)...

One morning recently, the light was good for me to get another web picture:

It looks almost like a piece of glass with a bulls-eye on it in the front of Miss Doozie.

This spider builds a web almost every night between Miss Doozie and the Jeep. I often destroy it by driving the Jeep away, or I knock it down if I need to get to the other side of Miss Doozie, but, undaunted, the spider builds again the next evening/night!

Are you a cat person or a dog person?

The shelter from which we adopted Macy and Tabitha sent me a link to a quiz in email recently...

"Are you a cat person or a dog person?"
http://support.operationkindness.org/site/PageNavigator/dog_cat_quiz_e.html

Check it out and see which you are!

Bet you can't guess which I came out to be! I'll give you 3 guesses, and the first two don't count!!!

Claim It Texas

A friend of mine posted about this site on Facebook this week: https://claimittexas.org/
It has listings from the Texas Comptroller's office of unclaimed funds.
I looked for Dwayne and for me, and I didn't find anything... but I looked up a couple of friends and found funds that I think they are due... I don't know how difficult it is to retrieve the funds, and it may not be worth it for small amounts...
But maybe it is worth checking your name!!!

Recognizing contributions

A friend of ours, Gary, was recognized by the city of The Colony, TX on Tuesday night. I was able to be there and hear about all the things Gary had done for the kids of the city as he was a physical education teacher for many years, and encouraged running and fitness with his kids - as he also taught them about God's love for them.

From the city's Facebook page:

At tonight's City Council meeting, Mayor Joe McCourry presented Gary Cox, who recently retired from BB Owen Elementary School, with a commemorative poster as a token of appreciation for the many years of support he has given to the Kids Chase by the Lake event. Staff from Parks & Recreation, BB Owen Elementary and representatives from The Colony Roadrunners Club were also in attendance to announce that the name of the event has officially been changed to Coach Cox's Kids Chase! Thank you, Coach Cox, for all the help and dedication to this annual kids running tradition in The Colony!

Gary had been a teacher at BB Owens Elementary School...

He encouraged his kids to participate in the Kids Chase by the Lake -- such that the kids from BB Owens made up half of the participants in the race! 200 out of 400 participants!

He was given a big "Thank You" card signed by many of us there...

Gary was given a few minutes to share from his heart about how God directed him in his teaching and encouragement of the kids, and how God is still with him now, even as he battles cancer.

 

His daughter and her youngest (newly adopted) daughter came up from Austin, TX, and his son and his family, as well as Gary's wife, Marla, were all able to be there.

Along with a lot of other folks! Many people came out to express their appreciation for all that Coach Cox has done!

 It was a blessing to be able to be with them and to see and hear all the folks tell Gary how much he has meant to them!

Three years ago...

Facebook reminded me that 3 years ago, we were at Gros Morne National Park... I went to read the post - https://trekincartwrights.blogspot.com/2016/08/gros-morne-national-park-day-1.html
What a busy day we had - and what fun it was to see Dwayne performing on the "ugly stick" once again!!!
Check out the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVLWz3uWECQ&feature=youtu.be
The words can be found here: https://www.flashlyrics.com/lyrics/the-navigators/the-islander-77

I am SO thankful for all the things that we saw and did and experienced together during our lives together and particularly in these last few years when we were RVing around the US and Canada!

Perspectives

Last night I attended the first session of Perspectives. This is a course that Dwayne and I took several years ago (8-9 years ago, I think).
https://www.perspectives.org/

I have long characterized the course as "ruining you for the ordinary". The folks from our church who attended the course were all impacted by it in many ways. It is known as a "missions" course, but, to me, it is more appropriately characterized as giving me a view into who God is and what He has been doing and is doing in the world.

Last night was so great! The instructor was Justin Schell. The topic was "Our God is a Missionary God". The course is 15 separate lessons, each having a specific topic, but each taught by a different instructor. So, each time you take the course, it is different, as each instructor brings their own unique message and style.

As an alumni, I can attend the class for free. When I contacted the coordinator of the class, he asked if I might be able to give a ride to one of the graders for the class who would be attending DIU (Dallas International University) and I said that I could. I figured that I could take a total of 3 in addition to me in the Jeep (if I emptied some of the "garage" contents out!) - so I found 2 others to go to participate in the "first night free". They both decided to sign up for the course, so the 4 of us will be going each Monday! In addition to me, there is a retired Wycliffe missionary (teacher), and two DIU students - so we have two retirees and two young people! I am really looking forward to it!

Use the link I posted above, see if there is a course being offered near you, pray about it, and attend it if you can! It is a LOT of work, but, anything worthwhile is... and I believe you'll get out of it what you put into it!

Getting things done...

I had a number of items on my to-do list with regard to the Jeep, and decided that today was the day to get going on them... I was driven by the fact that I'm attending a class in Irving starting on Monday evening, and taking 3 other folks from campus with me, so I wanted to be sure that the Jeep would be working well.

• The ventilation system had been making a clicking noise for years. I remember that Dwayne pulled into the area of the dash two years ago when we were in Washington State, but was not able to determine exactly what needed to be taken care of. We had talked about taking it in for service, but it seemed to work okay, just making a noise that was kind of like the one that we used to make by using a clothes pin to attach a playing card next to the spokes of our bicycles when we were kids - a fast clicking noise - and just for a few seconds when the ventilation system cut on. When our friend, Gayle, visited me earlier this year, she heard it and said that she had had a Jeep that made that noise and the Jeep dealership was able to fix it. I had called the local Jeep dealership and the service advisor wanted me to bring it in and leave it for a few days... I said I couldn't do that, it was my only transportation (I guess I *could* drive Miss Doozie around, but that would be a bit much!). She suggested that I come in on a Saturday when it was "first come, first served", so, today was the day to do that!
• While there, the service guy found a couple of other things that he suggested could use attention; one was to clean the battery contacts as there was corrosion on them. I agreed for them to do that (this comes into the story later...).
• My watch band needed to be replaced, and you can't buy watch bands at Walmart anymore (I think most people just buy new watches nowadays!). A friend here on campus had suggested a jewelry store a few weeks ago that I visited to get a new battery for the watch - so I returned there today and got a new watch band.
• I also needed an oil change, but decided that it would be better to have that done somewhere other than the Jeep dealership as they were quite busy. I headed down into Cedar Hill (a little south of where I am). The first place I went (Speedee) was quite busy and said that there would be an hour wait before they could even start on the oil change (not so Speedee!) - but that they usually weren't so busy later. I had other things to do so I decided to deal with it later.
• My phone has been not holding a charge very well, so I headed to the Verizon store. I had called them from the waiting room at the Jeep dealership, and the fellow I spoke with said that they could take care of getting me a new battery if I had a device service policy. I said that I thought I did, and I checked online, and I did. But... when I got there, the fellow who started to help me said, "Oh, we don't deal with batteries here." I said that I had talked to a fellow earlier and that person said that they could help me, so the current guy went off to check. He came back out a few minutes later, and called me over, saying that they didn't have the batteries, but he could make an appointment for me at another place that would take care of it. Well... at this point, I lost it... weeping... I don't know whether from frustration that I wasn't able to get the oil change done, I wasn't able to get the phone battery replaced, I missed Dwayne... all of the above... I asked him if he could complete the request without me there, and headed out of the store.
• Walmart was across the street from Verizon, and I remembered that Dwayne and I had previously had oil changes done at Walmart, so I decided to head there. They didn't have a long line, just the one vehicle in front of me who was in the process of getting the oil change done. I was still weepy, and asked the young man who was processing me in to just decide which kind of oil change I should get. I told him that this was the first time I was having to do this since my husband passed away, and I would just trust what he would recommend. He assured me that he would take care of what I needed and that I had made a good decision in bringing it there. It was also cheaper than Speedee, so I think it probably was a good choice...
• I also needed to get a Texas state inspection completed. In Texas, you have to get the inspection done in the 90 days before you renew your registration. The Jeep's registration runs out in October, so I'm within the 90 days, and figured I can get it done anytime between now and October. I stopped at Sonic to get iced tea and a burger, and there was a Texas state inspection station right next door, so I went there. They could take it right away... so I went inside the building to wait. When the guy came in, he asked me if I had had electrical work or work on my battery done recently. I said that I had, that they had cleaned the contacts this morning. He said that he could not pull the codes from the vehicle, and that was required to pass inspection. He said that I need to drive the Jeep 60-70 miles so it will show the codes, and that if I bring it back to that station within 15 days, they will complete the inspection with no additional charge. So, that task has to remain on my to-do list.
• I called the place that I need to go to get the phone battery replaced... I was thinking that I might head there this afternoon, but he said that it would take 1.5-2 hours so he wouldn't recommend it. I figured that I should do a backup of my phone before taking it in anyway, so that's probably just as well - so that's on my to-do list too.

I was very disappointed about losing it in the Verizon store (and with the Walmart auto care guy)... I have been doing "well" I thought in dealing with my grief, at least not letting it spill over onto random people. But, I recognize that the six month-versary of Dwayne's death was this week, half a year has passed - in some ways, it seems like it was forever ago, and in other ways it seems that he just left. I have "soft" plans that I will be wanting to get out of the RV by the 1 year anniversary - electing to stay in it for a year to satisfy the recommendation to "not make major changes in the first year". That would mean that I'm halfway to that point.

In addition, I was doing things today that particularly emphasized my loss of Dwayne, doing things for the first time that he previously would have done or at least done with me. He definitely would have made the decisions about where to go to get the tasks done. The "firsts" are hard.

All the "dealing with grief" books and counseling say that progress is frequently unsteady, that you'll feel that you're progressing and then have a set-back. I realize that my environment is not ideal for grieving the loss of Dwayne; everyone that I interact with on a daily basis never knew Dwayne; they only know me as a single woman; it is easy to ignore the reality that I've lost Dwayne - until I get back to the bus and Miss Kitty. If I were still living in our former home on Meadowglen Circle, I would daily see folks who knew and cared about Dwayne, and there would be those who could reminisce with me. So, it isn't odd that I would have a set-back, and everyone's grief is unique, and this is just how mine displayed itself today. Just a reminder to me that I've still got a ways to go...

And, in spite of the grief, I got a number of to-do's done. In addition to the things listed above, I got enough cleared out of the "garage" part of the "Jee-rage" to allow 3 people other than me to ride in it on Monday evening. So, it has been a good day, even if it contained a few more tears that I may have wished.

I know that I have lots of friends and family who continue to pray for me, and I appreciate it more than I can tell you. Thank you!

What's in a title

I have been updating information in the database that contains records for all the folks who are on the campus here. For the past couple of days, I have been updating information provided by Dallas International University (DIU). They provided me with corrected information, among other things, for the position titles of the staff of the university.

Now, as I was going through this, I was bemused to think that this is yet another language - one that has great meaning and significance to those in the university realm, but... not so much to commoners such as me!

Here is an alphabetized list of the positions that I gathered from the data updates:

Adjunct Faculty
Assistant Instructor
Assistant Professor
Associate Instructor
Associate Professor
Chair
Dean
Department Head
Instructor
Professor
Teacher

So... what do the different titles mean? Who outranks whom? Make your guesses!

I am not sure that I can answer my own question... and I'm not sure that the answers are always consistent from one university to another...

In considering differences, one concept that comes up in the definition is "tenure". According to Wikepedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_tenure):

Tenure is a category of academic appointment existing in some countries. A tenured post is an indefinite academic appointment that can be terminated only for cause or under extraordinary circumstances, such as financial exigency or program discontinuation. Tenure is a means of defending the principle of academic freedom, which holds that it is beneficial for society in the long run if scholars are free to hold and examine a variety of views.

Looking for an explanation between Instructor and Professor, I found this site: https://tophat.com/blog/instructor-vs-professor/

Most of the time, “professor” refers to a tenure-track professorship appointment. “Instructor,” similar to “lecturer,” covers everybody else who teaches in universities, with jobs that are contract, full time or part time.

For Assistant vs Associate vs "full":

For most universities and colleges, an assistant professor is the first rank. She or he will be able to call themselves ‘professor’ but must achieve tenure within a set number of years (usually a maximum of seven) to rise to the next rank. An associate professor is someone who is promoted when they achieve tenure; the title of professor is then granted to somebody when their university has decided they are distinguished within their discipline.

What about "Adjunct"?

On the other hand, adjunct professors are not part of faculty, but depending on their school’s policies, they may able to use the title “professor” as a courtesy title—namely, one that doesn’t carry any legal weight. Adjuncts are paid per course taught instead of a salary: instructors can be salaried and have formal positions, but often aren’t eligible for tenure.

Definition of adjunct: "something added to another thing but not essential to it." (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/adjunct)

As a side note, while at the Welcome Desk this afternoon, I was talking with one of the professors about my thoughts on writing this blog, and I shared with her that "adjunct" is not a word that I commonly use, but I thought it would be interesting to see if I could use it several times this weekend and see if anyone notices. She mentioned that there could be an "adjunct" seating area, and I suggested an "adjunct" to my dining table... of course, that got us talking about the "junk" that might be on top of that "adjunct" table... but... I digress...

And then there are the "Chair", "Dean", and "Department Head" terms... These seem to have a lot less defined commonality between different institutions. I saw several postings that seemed to equate a "Department Chair" and "Department Head". Others indicated that "Head" is more administrative and "Chair" is more academically oriented. And then, "Dean" is over a "college" which may include multiple "departments".

So, going from lowest ranking to highest ranking, I *think* would be:

Adjunct Faculty

Assistant Instructor
Associate Instructor
Instructor/Teacher
Assistant Professor
Associate ProfessorProfessor
Department Head
Chair
Dean

I am not at all sure how Adjunct "ranks", but since they seem to be, by definition, part-time, and Instructors can be full time, I put it lowest.
I put "Teacher" at the same level as "Instructor" because of the article that mentioned "lecturer" with "Instructor", but my gut feel is that "Teacher" might be a lower level term, and again, may be institution dependent.
I also found a 34 page document of academic titles from Cornell: https://hr.cornell.edu/sites/default/files/documents/academic_titles.pdf

If anyone has corrections to this, please let me know, and I will issue a corrected post!!!

New words...

I posted last week about Shakespeare creating new words in English... (http://trekincartwrights.blogspot.com/2019/08/where-did-those-words-come-from.html)

Our pastor preached on Sunday on 2 Timothy 3:16-17:

¹⁶ All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, ¹⁷ that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

He shared with us that, in Greek, Paul created a word, "God-breathed" (I wrote it down as "theoneustos" - I looked it up via BibleGateway in Greek and found "θεοπνευστος" which Google Translate transliterates to "theopnefstos") - anyway, Pastor Rickey said that this was the only place in the Bible that this word was used, and, in fact, it was not used in any other literature at that time either - so Paul made up a word to explain how scripture came to be.

Pretty cool, huh?

Anybody wanna study Hebrew with me?

The Abraham Center, a center of study within the Dallas International University, located here on the International Linguistics Center (ILC) campus where I am currently living, is offering some special discounts for the 2019-2020 and 2020-2021 academic years.

You can read more about the Abraham Center here:  https://www.diu.edu/abraham-center/

News about the discounts can be found here:  https://www.diu.edu/ac-news/

In addition to those discounts, there also will be a Workshop Promotion Rate on AC1305 Basic Biblical Hebrew. The Workshop rate is $150 for this 8 week course. The course will begin on September 17, 2019. The limitations for enrollees of the Hebrew workshop are the same as those for the AC5310 Core Components of Islam Workshop:

Workshop enrollees will not be admitted to Dallas Int’l nor will they receive any credit for the course; they may participate in the class but will not submit homework, grades will not be assigned, nor will any transcripts be issued. The workshop rate is limited to ten participants. Students will make application to attend the workshop at Abraham_Center@diu.edu and after acceptance, make payment as directed.

I am seriously considering signing up for the Basic Biblical Hebrew course. I took Greek in college (back in the dark ages!) because I wanted to learn a language that had a different alphabet from English, and I have appreciated having had that training for many reasons, including that it made reading signs in Cyrillic characters possible (I could sound out the words, even if I didn't know what they meant!). I think I would appreciate being able to look at Hebrew and at least recognize characters...

Are any of my friends interested in taking Basic Biblical Hebrew with me? Class sessions will be Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1:25-3:25pm, September 17 - December 17.

A moose guard?

As I contemplate that I will be selling Miss Doozie at some point in the "relatively" near future (within the year unless God leads me differently), I took a look at one of the primary broker sites for buying and selling Blue Birds, "Buy Bye Blue Bird".

In looking at the pictures, I saw one with a very interesting contraption on the front:

and had to take a closer look:
https://www.buybyebluebird.com/CoachListings/awesomeness/2002-GaFo3172019LX40

It has a custom "Moose guard", installed in preparation for a trip to Alaska on which the owner wanted to be prepared in case there were any moose who chose to trot out in front...

Escapee roots

One of the RVing groups that we have belonged to is Escapees (the verbalization of the initials: S-K-P, standing for the three things that RVers need, Service, Knowledge, and Parking). We have appreciated many aspects of our membership, including support and advocacy for RVers, the mail forwarding service, the Rainbow and co-op parks, and just Escapee friends that we meet along the way.

An article about the history of the club, and current direction, was recently published. Take a look for more information: https://www.escapees.com/escapees-rv-club-history-roots-run-deep/

Where did those words come from?

I saw this recently... it is an older article, but, since it is addressing Shakespeare's influence on English, it probably doesn't matter that the article was written a couple of years ago!
https://ideas.ted.com/when-shakespeare-committed-word-crimes/

I don't *think* I've made up any words in my blogging, but... I'm not trying to rhyme or stay in meter... I think that would fall into temptation to "play fast and loose" with words and "hurry" (really? "hurry" was created by Shakespeare?!?!?) to "hoodwink" you by creating new ones if I was rhyming or metering...

Okay... so... I was only going to post about the article above and end the blog there, but... in trying to type a paragraph making use of some of the words that Shakespeare invented, I had to look up what those words mean (really, do *you* use "besmirch" or "hoodwink" in normal conversation?). While looking up what they mean, I found a site that graphs how common the word has been in history! Check it out, I've created clickable links for the words:
hoodwink
besmirch
Did you know that "besmirch" is from "be-" + "smirch"??? I have at least heard of "besmirch" (though I would have been unable to use it in a sentence), but I've never *heard* "smirch" to my knowledge!
smirch

If you scroll down on the Dictionary page (you may need to expand something), it shows a graph of the use over time for the word:

 

"smirch" appears to have reached its zenith ("the time at which something is most powerful or successful." -- "zenith" is another word I would not commonly use - but it isn't from Shakespeare) around 1900 and have dropped off in usage nearer to current time (though maybe a slight upswing near 2010?). Maybe after using "smirch" in my blog entry today there will be another slight upswing in its "mentions" for 2019? <<giggle>>

Oh what fun, huh?

Lessons from a flower bed

A couple of weeks ago I posted about what God had showed me while thinking about transplanting (http://trekincartwrights.blogspot.com/2019/07/learning-from-transplanting.html).

Today, I got an email from a blog that I've been following, entitled "Lessons from a Flower Bed". I think you might like it!
https://judahmeanspraise.wordpress.com/2019/08/07/lessons-from-a-flower-bed/

What not to ask someone who is suffering

So, I apologize for writing multiple entries about grief in these past few days, but, for whatever reason, I'm going through a tougher time right now... and from all that I've read, it is better to work through the grief than to suppress it. Suppressing it is certainly more appealing to me, but won't, in the long run, be helpful.

This article is SO on target - I won't even copy the meaningful phrases, because pretty much all of it applies:
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-not-to-ask-someone-suffering

A TED talk about Moving Forward

A friend shared the link to this TED talk with me -
https://www.ted.com/talks/nora_mcinerny_we_don_t_move_on_from_grief_we_move_forward_with_it?language=en

Some of it I don't agree with, but there are several things she said that that resonated with me:

"...everyone you love has a 100% chance of dying..."
"Grief is so uncomfortable, especially if it is someone else's grief."
"When your person dies .... your friends and your family are just going to look around through friends of friends of friends of friends until they find someone who's gone through something similar, and then they'll push you towards each other so you can talk amongst yourselves and not get your sad on other people."

She goes on to talk about the fallacy of "Moving on" - as if somehow the person that you lost can just be put into a compartment and not brought up again -- when everything about you is, to some extent, a result of having that person in your life.

"But grief is kind of one of those things, like, falling in love or having a baby ... where you don't get it until you get it, until you do it. And once you do it, once it's your love or your baby, once it's your grief and your front row at the funeral, you get it. You understand what you're experiencing is not a moment in time, it's not a bone that will reset, but that you've been touched by something chronic. Something incurable. It's not fatal, but sometimes grief feels like it could be."

The thing that just was so descriptive for me is "so you can talk amongst yourselves and not get your sad on other people."

Do you remember back in grade school when kids would talk about someone having "cooties"?
I don't even know what a "cootie" is, but I feel like I have "grief cooties".
It isn't that anyone has said anything about me needing to "move on", but I, dare I say, *hate* that grief and loss comes up in me anytime I'm not distracting myself with other busy-ness. I fear that friends and family will get tired of Patti being a grieving person and not want to be around her anymore. It isn't that anyone has expressed that they are tired of it, but I don't want to get to the point with my friends that they just don't want to be around me anymore... and I only recognize it because I'm not with friends anymore...

So, I gravitate toward those who "get it". I so appreciate my GriefShare class because we can each remember and talk and cry and grieve, and feel confident that no one is going to be uncomfortable. I so appreciate a few widows who are further along in their widowhood journey who will share with me how they got through and invest time with me. I appreciate friends who continue to be willing to listen and hear what is going on...

Thank you for continuing to care for me and pray for me!

What I'm learning about God

I never would have chosen this grief, this loss of Dwayne...
But I stand amazed at how God is teaching me through this season of pain.
This is a LONG post, and intensely personal... I totally understand if you don't want to or can't read it, but I needed to write it...

I have recently been invited to join a Discipleship Group, or "D-group", with a few other ladies from our church. I am getting SO much out of studying the Bible in this way.

First, a little background - in our D-groups, we're using the F260 Bible reading plan:
https://replicate.org/f260-bible-reading-plan/
and keeping a HEAR journal:
https://replicate.org/what-is-a-hear-journal/

I have been keeping a HEAR journal over the past couple of years as Dwayne and I have used the Solid Life Whole Bible reading plan (https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/214-solid-life) on YouVersion. I pray before I start studying that God will show me what He wants to speak to me, and I read and pull out the scriptures that speak to me during that reading. I then apply the "HEAR" method to document what I see and hear from God in that passage.

Since I started with the D-group two weeks ago, the F260 plan was just finishing up the Old Testament and entering the New Testament. Many (most?) people do the 5 days of readings on Monday-Friday, but based on my current schedule, it works better for me to do the 5 days on Thursday-Monday. I am still doing the Solid Life plan in the morning, but am doing F260 in the evenings. As I have been so blessed by what I am getting out of Bible reading, one of the things that I particularly heard from God in the study last week was the importance of prayer (Mark 1:35 - If Jesus prioritized prayer to such a great extent, getting up "a long while before daylight" - even after he had probably been up late the night before as "the whole city was gathered together at the door" for healing - how could I not prioritize prayer in my life?). So, my goal this week was to spend quality time in prayer, doing whatever I need to do each day to get time alone with God. On Thursday evening, after D-group, I sat down with my journal and wrote my prayers and what I heard from God - writing helped immensely in keeping me from getting distracted.

Then Friday came... Friday evening, the reading was from Matthew 3-4. I was reading the passage, making notes about what I read in the scripture, the context of what was happening, and I got to Matthew 4:23-24 (ESV):

²³ And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people. ²⁴ So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, those having seizures, and paralytics, and he healed them.

Y'all, this was so incredibly hard for me to read. It reminded me of January and February when the Solid Life Bible Plan had us reading Matthew. Dwayne was in ICU, and it seemed that every day, Matthew's gospel had Jesus healing "every disease and every affliction". I looked back at my journal entries during that time... and I re-read the questions and anguish that those verses raised for me... here are some of the dates and the verses and my "A" (application) and "R" (response) entries from my journal.

2/8 Friday: Matt 9:20-22, 35 --

A: I am struck by the faith of the woman who came to touch Jesus' garment and her faith made her well.

And then scripture says that "Jesus went... healing every disease and every affliction."

Was the healing really of every disease and every affliction?

Why does God choose to heal only some now? 

R: Father, I trust You, but it is hard.

2/8 was the Friday before we officially stopped treatment on Monday, but, we had pretty much decided to discontinue treatment by then, so we were pretty sure that the end of Dwayne's life was within days...

2/9 Saturday: Matt 10:1 --

A: Jesus called His 12 disciples to come to Him, gave them authority to cast out unclean spirits, and to heal every disease and every affliction...

I looked at commentaries and other translations of the verse yesterday, and some indicated every *kind* of disease. In a similar way, other translations have translated this scripture as "every kind".

One of the commentaries indicated that only those who had faith were healed.

Faith in God or faith that Jesus could heal?

R: Father, I know that my mind is wrapped up in thoughts of healing. Give me, give us, the faith that we need.

I remember that I talked with Dwayne about Jesus healing, and I remember that one of these nights, I woke up and Dwayne was talking... I got up to see if he was talking to me, and he said, "No, I'm just repeating those scriptures about Jesus healing all the diseases."

2/14 Thursday: "The things that Dwayne will soon see"

H: After greeting them, he related one by one the things that God had done among the Gentiles through his ministry (Acts 21:19)

And when the men of that place recognized him, they sent around to all that region and brought to him all who were sick and implored him that they might only touch the fringe of his garment. And as many as touched it were made well. (Matthew 14:35-36)

A: wouldn't it be amazing to have heard Paul's account of the things that God had done among the Gentiles through his ministry? Dwayne will get to hear this from Paul soon.

The men of the Gadarenes recognized Jesus because of the demoniac who was healed and witnessed of what Jesus had done for him.

"As many as touched the fringe of His garment were made well."

R: Father, I wish that Dwayne could touch the fringe of Jesus' garment in this world, but I thank You that he will soon touch Jesus and be completely healed.

Dwayne left his earthly life and entered his eternal life in heaven later that day (at 3:15pm on Thursday, 2/14/2019, on his 73rd birthday).

So, back to present day, or at least, this past Friday, and Matthew 4:23-24. There it was again, Jesus was "healing every disease and every affliction". As I started writing my "A (application)", it became a prayer that revealed my broken view of God:

8/2 Friday - A: This section of scripture is so hard for me right now. I remember reading through Matthew at the end of January and beginning of February and seeing on nearly every day Jesus "healing every disease and every affliction". I see in my Journal from those days the hope that these verses gave, and, as the days passed and our choice had to be made to stop treatment, my wondering if the scripture was really true or if it meant (as some translations say) "every kind of disease and sickness" - so one person with cancer might be healed and another not, but Jesus proved He *could* heal cancer by healing at least one. I remember talking with Dwayne about this and then awakening in the night and hearing him talking, and when I went to him, he said that he was talking to God about the healing of all and not him. I wrote in my Journal - Father I trust You, but it is hard.

It is still hard. It is just plain hard.

I know that God knows best. I have confidence in His love for me and for Dwayne. But I am hurting.

I realize that I must confess to God that I am angry at Him for not choosing to heal Dwayne here. I know He had the power, but He chose not to. I know that You know best, but it is hard for me to see right this moment.

When I had said something about this right after Dwayne's death, the person I spoke with reminded me of something I had said almost 2 years before, that God *did* completely heal Dwayne. I said that, I know that, but that I don't think that is what Matthew means when he says that Jesus was healing every disease and every affliction. Of course the person was only quoting me and reminding me of something I had said earlier - that God had answered our prayers for healing (in another situation) by totally and completely healing the individual in heaven -- but not in the way that we intended in our prayers.

Do I really think that You are parsing my requests and figuring out how You can answer what I have asked but not what I meant? Father, I refuse to let satan lie to me that this is Your nature.

I know that You have the power to heal every single disease and illness - You had the power when You walked on the earth, and You have that power now. You have the wisdom to know who to heal and who not. I am not God, You are, and I trust You. I trust You.

At about this time, I sent a quick text to my Prayer911 group that had supported Dwayne and me throughout so much of his illness, "I am struggling with some things that God is bringing up with me tonight and I would appreciate prayers." As they started praying for me, I kept on praying and journalling:

I am not going to let satan lie to me - You are trustworthy, You love me, You want what is best for me, Nothing takes You by surprise. You are faithful. Your loving-kindness endures FOREVER. You loved and love Dwayne so much more and more perfectly than I could love him. You know right now exactly what I need. You know the next step I need to take, and You are willing to show me. You are not some cosmic puppet-master, cackling from the sky. You love me, You want what is best for me, I can trust You with everything. I know that You will give me peace. I know that it was not that we did not have enough faith. I know that this is not our home. I am thankful for the gift that Dwayne was in my life. I know You will use even this time in my life to serve you to comfort someone else. I know that Your ways are higher than mine.

One of my Prayer911 contacts texted me to remind me that I could call her if I needed, and she prayed with me over the phone.

Bind the enemy, guard my mind and my heart. Father, accomplish your purposes in my life. I thank You that You are the giver of Faith - I know that You are the Comforter, I need Your Comfort. Thank you, God, for all that You are to me. Thank You for graciously showing me the lies that I have been believing.

A friend on campus had shared a video with me a couple of days earlier, but I had not had time to listen to it - when I looked at it after this session with God, it was the song "Healer" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyoVqtIG5yk). Again the tears poured down as I realized that I had been avoiding confessing God as Healer.

I have been unwilling to confess You as Healer. I have not been willing to trust You as Healer. I know that You are my Healer. I know that You are all that I need. You are more than enough for me.

I was shocked by the lies that were exposed as God tenderly showed me my heart:

• How many times have I carelessly said or thought, "Be careful what you pray for." God revealed that, for me, this expressed a belief that God would figure out some way that He could answer the words of my prayer but not the intent. What a lie from the pit of hell!
• The lie that I couldn't trust God to heal. We didn't even pray for Dwayne to be healed - we prayed for God to be glorified through what we were going through, and we wanted Dwayne to be healed, but we didn't ask for it. Why? Is it because we didn't trust God to heal him? Is it because we did not want to risk having faith that would be disappointed? I'm still working through this one.
• In the GriefShare course, one of the sessions talked about asking God "Why?', and another session dealt with being angry at God. I remember thinking that these sessions didn't apply to me, that God was so gracious to us through Dwayne's illness (and He was, in SO many ways), and that we had made the decision to stop treatment... but God revealed that I was holding anger against Him, because He chose not to heal Dwayne here, and I was asking "Why didn't You choose to heal Dwayne?" I was being self-righteous and pompous and not admitting what was truly in my heart.

Oh how gracious and wonderful God is to reveal sin in my heart. How beautiful to know that I can confess my sins and He is faithful and just to forgive my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9). How wonderful to trust that He wants me to come as I am, to turn towards Him, to be honest that I am feeling anger, but then to give that to Him for healing, to ask God to change my mindset.

One of the losses that I have experienced with Dwayne's death is the loss of the person that I could talk with about what God was showing me, and to discuss and delve deeply into God's Word together. I am thankful that God is showing me that He is not only able, but He wants to be that person in my life, to teach me more about Himself, and to gently call me into a deeper relationship with Him. I am such a baby Christian in listening to God's voice, but He is encouraging me.

I am, indeed, wonderfully blessed.

p.s. I still don't like the question, "How are you?" because I really am *not* "Okay" or "Good", and there are days that I don't honestly believe that I am "Wonderfully blessed", but the truth is, I *am* wonderfully blessed, even when I don't feel like it!

For those of you who have read to this point, thank you for letting me share this...

Acronyms and Initialisms

I saw this article and there were a LOT in the list that I didn't know before!
http://mentalfloss.com/article/538094/acronyms-and-initialisms-spelled-out

Do you know what CVS, and M&M's, and TASER, and SMART (as in SMART car), and GEICO, and PAM stand for?

And... I had been told that "FIAT" meant "Fix It All the Time", but I suspected that was NOT how the company named its product!

I *did* know what IBM and UPS stood for though!

Additional thoughts seen around campus

One of the really neat facilities on campus is known as the Boutique. It is a place for recycling household items that you no longer need and acquiring items that you could use - like a thrift store or resale shop, but no money changes hands. Volunteers sort incoming items and put them out, and shoppers (like me) see something they may like and take it home. There are clothing items, books (a *large* selection of home school materials), kitchen items, even formal gowns (including bridal dresses) and tuxes (the formals and tuxes are for "use" and return, not to take for good - you just bring them back clean).

There is also a sewing room in the Boutique, with ladies who will help you by altering garments for you.

A few days ago, I got to go on a "tour" of the Boutique as a new student at the Dallas International University (DIU) expressed an interest in volunteering at the Boutique. Shirley, the manager of the Boutique, took her on a tour, and I got to tag along. It was fascinating all the things that they have and services that they do! Shirley was overjoyed that the student volunteer likes to sew, so she instantly "claimed" her for the sewing room!

During the tour, I saw this sign:

"Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer."

A good reminder!

A video flyover of the campus

Mark told me on Wednesday about a video that was created last year that includes a video flyover of the campus -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16mLQsWy0n4
Some of the RV park is shown at about 1:20 into the video.

I have been told that the campus is 100 acres, and at the highest point in Dallas county. I have a beautiful view of Joe Pool Lake from the volunteer office in the Key building (officially "my" office, though I spend a lot of time in the Mahler building at the Welcome Desk).

Here's a satellite view on Google maps:
https://www.google.com/maps/place/International+Linguistics+Center/@32.665599,-96.9570279,1534m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m5!3m4!1s0x864e8fb20c4effdb:0xf33383be60ce30cb!8m2!3d32.665599!4d-96.9526505

You can zoom in or out on the Google map to see more details or more of the surrounding area.
 If the ILC campus were a clock face, the RV park is at about 7 o'clock. There are some other structures that kind of look like RVs that are more at 6 o'clock (and towards the interior of the "clock") - those are mobile homes. The Mahler and Key Buildings are in the "quad" - a quadrangle of buildings at the entrance to the campus (inside the clock face at 12 o'clock).

If any of my DFW friends would like to visit the campus, or if any of my RVing friends would like to come visit (particularly if anyone would be interested in volunteering!!!) -- I would love to have you come visit. I *may* even be able to arrange housing for folks from out of town via the Guest House (though it is frequently full, so that isn't a sure thing).