Anniversary....

Today would have been Dwayne's and my 31st wedding anniversary.
We had been married almost half of my life at the time of his death (I was 29 years, 10 months when we married, and we were married 29 years, 9 months).
I was "older" when we got married; I remember telling co-workers a little while before we started dating that I didn't think I was going to get married, that it wasn't God's plan for me.

But, it was...

And I never anticipated what a blessing it would be to be married to Dwayne.

And then, I never expected to marry again after being widowed. I thought God had a plan for me as an "undistracted widow" - available to do things for Him that I couldn't easily do as a married woman.

I am so grateful that God brought Carl into my life. I am so blessed with him.


Which makes days like today difficult.

Shouldn't I be so grateful for my relationship with Carl that I wouldn't sorrow over the loss of my relationship with Dwayne? Doesn't it seem inappropriate?

And yet, even though I would not be sharing my life with Carl, a life that I am so incredibly thankful for, had Dwayne not passed away, even so, days of remembering bring tears for the loss of Dwayne.

But, I am also grateful that Carl goes through similar sorrow - sorrow at losing Sue - even in the midst of the joy of our relationship. It doesn't make sense to either of us, but there it is...

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Dwayne!

I posted on Dwayne's CaringBridge today: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dwaynecartwright

I'll copy in the text here in case you weren't following us there:

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Dwayne!

Journal entry by Patti Cartwright

My sweet Dwayne went home to heaven one year ago today on the 73rd anniversary of his earthly birth...
In many ways, it seems like it was just a few days ago, but in other ways, it seems like a long time ago. Grief changes your perspective on so many things.

God has taught me SO much over this past year. I learned to depend on Him in ways that I never had to previously. I learned to allow God to be present in my life in ways I had not done previously. I learned who God *is* in ways that I had never previously experienced. Without going through the grief of losing Dwayne, I am not sure that I could have learned these lessons. While I never would have chosen to lose Dwayne, I am thankful for the lessons I have learned.

I've also learned about grief and other people. A lot of folks seem to know the exact right things to do when you are grieving... I now know that I have *no* clue about how grief is supposed to be done... only the person in the midst of it has any clue, and they will do the best they can do with the resources that they have. It isn't up to me to tell anyone else how they should or should not grieve.

However, having someone to listen, to be an available shoulder to cry on, to walk alongside and not have any expectations of you, to be understanding when you are totally non-understandable, to show compassion... wow, that is a precious gift. I have been blessed to have a number of those "someones" in my life.

Dwayne had some specific sayings that meant so much to us through his sickness, and to me after his death.
I know that the readers of this CaringBridge know about "two words" : "Trust God". It was really hard at times to trust God after Dwayne's death. Honestly, it is still hard for me to trust God with some things -- for example, I have a hard time with praise songs that declare that "He's my Healer", but, factually, I know He is, and, I know that Dwayne is perfectly and completely healed in heaven, but it is still "one of those things" with which I am struggling.
The other thing that Dwayne would always say, when someone asked, "How are you?", he would respond, "Wonderfully Blessed!" He would say, "I can't say, 'I'm good' because Jesus said that only God is good, and I can't say, 'I'm fine' because a lot of the time I'm not really fine, and that would be a lie, and I don't want to be a liar. But, I can say that I'm 'Wonderfully Blessed' because that is always true." I started using that response - even when many days I did not *feel* wonderfully blessed, I was nevertheless and am indeed wonderfully blessed, regardless of my feelings.

Dwayne's presence in my life, his love for me, continues to impact my life. I am so grateful for this man that God allowed me to share my life with for such a long time.

I am also grateful for those of you who followed along this journey with me and with us - I am thankful for the blessing you have been in my life.

With love and gratitude,
Patti

Keeping up with the Williamses

Hi, Folks - I know that I have not been keeping my blog updated very effectively recently, and some of you have noticed various things (like I left my volunteer position) and have asked what is going on...

Carl and I got married last Sunday -- and I started a new blog for our travels and adventures. You can find it here: https://journeyinamazinggrace.blogspot.com/

If you currently are an email subscriber to "Trekin' with the Cartwrights", there is the capability to "Follow by email" on the "Journey in God's Amazing Grace" blog page too.

Volunteer Appreciation Dinner

Friday was my last day to volunteer here at the International Linguistics Center, and we had scheduled a Volunteer Appreciation Dinner to be held Friday night.

Volunteers set up the tables after PBT had their chapel in the morning, and other volunteers decorated...

Western theme

So prettily decorated...

BBQ food!

A good crowd!

Enjoying our meals...

Yum!

Serving tables

After eating, we had a hymn sing!

One of our volunteers brought a YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCJeI78J1ho

This is the website of the folks who do the gospel music hymn sings: http://gospelmusichymnsing.com/

We sang along with the video - it was great fun!

After it was all done, folks helped take down the tables, set up chairs for the next event (church on Sunday in this building), and a couple of the guys (Bob and Steve) vacuumed!

So, my last "official" duty as volunteer coordinator is complete!

Last trip to Houston - at least for now

Carl and I made our last trip to pick up a food donation from Houston on last Monday.

Some pictures...

This was actually not from the latest trip - but... we learned to go with the Home Depot person (where we rent the Penske truck) when they go to do the inspection to make sure all damage is noted, taking pictures so we could let the return person know if necessary - this almost looked like the bumper was designed to be bent in!

All of the trucks have scrapes along the sides - this one had a bent part on the corner too...

At the warehouse, awaiting our load.

We take quilts with us to wrap the food to help keep it cool...

"I got in here, now how do I get out?"

This particular load, we had a lot more produce than we could use on the center, and in large packaging that Crisis Ministries could not easily use, so we loaded some into the Jeep...

A lot in the Jeep!

And went to Union Gospel Mission the next morning to make a donation.

Carl said he was going to start marking the boxes every time he moved them - one week, I think he figured he had moved some of the specific individual boxes 6 different times!

This past week, again we got a lot of produce...

Loading it on...

 We ended up with 7 pallet stacks of food this past week - 6 refrigerated (mostly produce) and 1 of frozen food (meats, bread).

One of our co-workers got a picture of the Penske truck drivers after the food was unloaded.

Note that I said we brought back 7 pallet stacks of food, but there are 13 empty pallets after unloading... some of the pallet stacks have a layer of boxes with another pallet on top - maybe part of the shipment got moved somewhere else and another partial pallet was put on top...

Even though it was a long drive each Monday, we enjoyed the time to talk and get to know each other even better!

A thought about science

I saw this on Facebook:

Lasers were once a huge scientific breakthrough; now we use them to play with cats.

Computers were once a huge scientific breakthrough; now we use them to look at cats.

Conclusion: Science was made for cats.

Funding Bible Translation

One of Carl's adult children attended the Passion 2020 conference over New Years. He had shared with Carl that a collection was taken for Bible translation at this year's conference. I saw this article recently that indicates that $1.2M was raised:
https://www.foxnews.com/faith-values/passion-2020-college-bible-christian

I hope that, even more than the funds raised, the awareness of the need was placed in the hearts of the young people who attended and that many may dedicate their lives to seeing the Bible made available in every language!

Randy Alcorn on "Suffering"

Facebook reminded me that, last year on this day, I posted a link to a post by Randy Alcorn:
http://trekincartwrights.blogspot.com/2019/01/suffering.html

Direct link to his blog entry:  https://www.epm.org/blog/2019/Jan/21/good-we-never-ask-suffering?fbclid=IwAR3SY1nX440ejCFnZ4p1x3HpSI_ALg1bwQZ_WCEY9DPeOUjXcTcvLHoaW-Q

I re-read it today, and was struck again by the wisdom in the words - possibly even more so because last year when I read it, we still believed that Dwayne was going to be living, that we would be facing the trials of his disease together. But, that wasn't in God's plan for me or for Dwayne...

What can suffering do for me? It can show me the impossibility of finding true happiness outside of God. When what I once leaned on for happiness—my health, career, wealth, or popularity [Patti addition: or my marriage, the one who was the most special to me]—crumbles into dust, the way is cleared for me to see that God is my only solid foundation.

We’re right to ask God for relief. Nevertheless, every time we ask Him to remove difficulty, we may be asking Him to forgo an opportunity to declare His greatness or deepen our relationship with Him. When did you last hear someone say, “I grew closest to God when my life was free from suffering”?

Ten months after his son was killed in a car accident, Greg Laurie told me, “What I wish is that I could have learned and grown and drawn close to the Lord just like I have, but that Christopher was still here.” Greg captured it perfectly—I too wish I could have all the good God brings through adversity without all that pain. But it doesn’t work that way, does it?

Oh, don't we all wish that we could have all the good God brings through adversity without going through the pain!

God doesn’t command us to cheer because we’ve been betrayed, diagnosed with cancer, or lost a loved one. Rather, our joy comes in the expectation of adversity’s by-products, including the development of godly character, greater dependence on Jesus, and countless reasons hidden to us for now (but crystal clear in our Father’s mind).

Expectation, hope, the knowledge that God has my good in His mind - those are the things that I can depend upon. Scripture gives me promises...

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  (1 Cor 4:8-9 NIV)

When I look back over this year, I am thankful for all that I have learned, about God, about myself, about depending fully upon God, about His love for me, about His sovereignty, His provision. I certainly have not "arrived", but I can look back and be grateful for what He has taught me.

I don't know the original source of this story... I found it on a few websites, and none seemed to own it, so I copied it to include here. It is one of my favorites...

The Matchless Pearl

A HEAVY SPLASH was followed by many ripples, and then the water below the pier was still. An American crouched on the low Indian pier, his eyes riveted on the place where a stream of little bubbles rose to the surface from deep under the water. In a moment a black head appeared and a pair of bright eyes looked up. Then the old Indian pearl diver was clambering onto the dock, grinning and shaking the water from his shining, oily body.

“As nice a dive as I’ve ever seen, Rambhau!” cried David Morse, the American missionary.

“Look at this one, sahib,” said Rambhau, taking a big oyster from between his teeth. “I think it’ll be good.”

“Rambhau! Look!” exclaimed Morse, “Why it’s a treasure!”

“Oh, yes, but there are better pearls, much better. Why, I have one—” his voice trailed off. “See this one—the imperfections—the black speck here, this tiny dent, even in shape it is a bit oblong, but good enough as pearls go.”

“Your eye is too sharp for your own good, friend,” lamented Morse. “I would never ask for a more perfect pearl!”

“It is just as you say of your God. To themselves people look perfect, but God sees them as they actually are.” The two men started down the dusty road to the town.

“You’re right, Rambhau. And God offers perfect righteousness to all who will simply believe and accept His free offer of salvation. He says, ‘The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord’ (Rom 6:23). Can’t you see that, my friend?”

“No, sahib. As so many times before I have told you, it’s too easy. That is where your good religion breaks down. I cannot accept that. Perhaps I am too proud. I must work for my place in heaven, or I would always be uncomfortable.”

“Oh, Rambhau!” Behind the missionary’s words were years of prayer for this man. “You are getting older now. Perhaps this is your last season of diving for pearls. If you ever want to see heaven’s gates of pearl, you must accept the new life God offers you in His Son.”

“My last season! Yes, you are right. Today was my last day of diving. This is the last month of the year, and I have preparations to make.”

“You should be making preparations for the life to come.”

“That’s just what I’m going to do. The first day of the New Year I begin my pilgrimage. All my life I have planned it. I shall make sure of heaven this time. I am going to Delhi on my knees.”

“No! Never! It’s nine hundred miles to Delhi! The skin will break on your knees, and you’ll have blood poisoning or leprosy before you get to Bombay.”

“But, I must get to Delhi. And then the immortals will reward me. The suffering will be sweet, for it will purchase heaven for me.”

“Rambhau! My friend! You can’t! How can I let you do this when Jesus Christ has died to purchase heaven for you!”

But the old man could not be moved. On the afternoon of Christmas Day, Morse answered a knock at the door to find Rambhau there.

“My good friend!” cried Morse. “Come in, Rambhau.”

“No,” said the pearl diver, “I want you to come with me to my house, sahib, for a short time. I have something to show you. Please do not say no.”

The heart of the missionary leaped. Perhaps God was answering his prayer at last.

“Of course I’ll come,” he said.

“I leave for Delhi just one week from today, you know,” said Rambhau as they neared his house ten minutes later. The missionary’s heart sank.

Inside, Morse was ushered to a seat his friend had built especially for him. Rambhau left the room to return soon with a small but heavy English strongbox.

“I have had this box for years,” he said. “I keep only one thing in it. Now I will tell you about it. Sahib Morse, I once had a son.”

“A son! Why, Rambhau, you have never said a word about him!”

“No, sahib, I couldn’t.” Even as he spoke the diver’s eyes moistened. “Now I must tell you, for soon I will leave, and who knows whether I shall ever return? My son was a diver too. He was the best pearl diver on the coasts of India. He had the swiftest dive, the keenest eye, the strongest arm, the longest breath of any man who sought for pearls. What joy he brought to me! He always dreamed of finding a pearl beyond all that had ever been found. One day he found it. But when he saw it, he had already been underwater too long. He lost his life soon after.” The old pearl diver bowed his head for a moment.

“All these years I have kept the pearl,” he continued, “but now I am going, not to return. I know that this is a day among Christians for the giving of gifts, and to you, my best friend, I am giving my pearl.”

The old man worked the combination on the strongbox and drew from it a carefully wrapped package. Gently opening the cotton, he picked up a mammoth pearl and placed it in the hand of the missionary. It was one of the largest pearls ever found off the coast of India, and it glowed with a luster and brilliance never seen in cultured pearls. It would have brought a fabulous sum in any market.

For a moment the missionary was speechless and gazed with awe.

“Rambhau! What a pearl!”

“That pearl, sahib, is perfect,” replied the Indian quietly.

“Rambhau,” he said, “this is a wonderful pearl, an amazing pearl. Let me buy it. I would give you ten thousand dollars for it, or if it takes more I will work for it.”

“Sahib,” said Rambhau, stiffening his whole body, “this pearl is beyond all price. No man in all the world has money enough to say what this pearl is worth to me. I will not sell it to you. You may have it only as a gift.”

“No, Rambhau, I cannot accept that. As much as I want the pearl, I cannot accept it that way. Perhaps I am proud, but that is too easy. I must pay for it or work for it.”

The old pearl diver was stunned.

“You don’t understand, sahib. Don’t you see? My only son gave his life to get this pearl, and I wouldn’t sell it for any money. Its worth is in the lifeblood of my son. I cannot sell this, but I can give it to you. Just accept it in token of the love I bear you.”

The missionary was choked and for a moment could not speak. Then he gripped the hand of the old man.

“Rambhau,” he said in a low voice, “don’t you see? That is just what you have been saying to God.”

The diver looked long and searchingly at the missionary and slowly, slowly he began to understand.

“God is offering you everlasting life as a free gift. It is so great and priceless that no man on earth could buy it. No man on earth could earn it. His life would be millions of years too short. No man is good enough to deserve it. It cost God the lifeblood of His only Son to make the entrance for you into heaven. In a million years, in a hundred pilgrimages, you could not earn that entrance. All you can do is to accept it as a token of God’s love for you, a sinner. Rambhau, won’t you accept God’s great gift of eternal life, in deep humility, knowing it cost Him the death of His Son to offer it to you?”

“Sahib, I see it now. I have believed in the doctrine of Jesus for two years, but I could not believe that His salvation was free. Now I understand. Some things are too priceless to be bought or earned. Sahib, I will accept His salvation.”

Whoever Takes the Son Gets It All

I like stories that present spiritual principles - here is one...
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Years ago, there was a very wealthy man who, with his devoted young son, shared a passion for art collecting. Together they traveled around the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet and many others adorned the walls of the family estate. The widowed, elder man looked on with satisfaction as his only child became an experienced art collector. The son’s trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors around the world.

As winter approached, war engulfed the nation, and the young man left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his father received a telegram. His beloved son was missing in action. The art collector anxiously awaited more news, fearing he would never see his son again. Within days, his fears were confirmed. The young man had died while rushing a fellow soldier to a medic.

Distraught and lonely, the old man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season, a season that he and his son had so looked forward to, would visit his house no longer. On Christmas morning, a knock on the door awakened the depressed old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home.

As he opened the door, he was greeted by a soldier with a large package in his hand. He introduced himself to the man by saying, "I was a friend of your son. I was the one he was rescuing when he died. May I come in for a few moments? I have something to show you." As the two began to talk, the soldier told of how the man’s son had told everyone of his, not to mention his father’s, love of fine art. "I’m an artist," said the soldier, "and I want to give you this." As the old man unwrapped the package, the paper gave way to reveal a portrait of the son.

Though the world would never consider it the work of a genius, the painting featured the young man’s face in striking detail. Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier, promising to hang the picture over the fireplace. A few hours later, after the soldier had departed, the old man set about his task.

True to his word, the painting went well above the fireplace, pushing aside thousands of dollars of paintings. And then the man sat in his chair and spent Christmas gazing at the gift he had been given. During the days and weeks that followed, the man realized that even though his son was no longer with him, the boy’s life would live on because of those he had touched. He would soon learn that his son had rescued dozens of wounded soldiers before a bullet stilled his caring heart.

As the stories of his son’s gallantry continued to reach him, fatherly pride and satisfaction began to ease the grief. The painting of his son soon became his most prized possession, far eclipsing any interest in the pieces for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift he had ever received.

The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world was in anticipation!

Unmindful of the story of the man’s only son, but in his honor, those paintings would be sold at an auction. According to the will of the old man, all of the art works would be auctioned on Christmas day, the day he had received his greatest gift. The day soon arrived and art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on some of the world’s most spectacular paintings. Dreams would be fulfilled this day; greatness would be achieved as many claim "I have the greatest collection." The auction began with a painting that was not on any museum’s list. It was the painting of the man’s son. The auctioneer asked for an opening bid. The room was silent.

"Who will open the bidding with $100?" he asked. Minutes passed. No one spoke. From the back of the room came, "Who cares about that painting? It’s just a picture of his son. Let’s forget it and go on to the good stuff."

More voices echoed in agreement. "No, we have to sell this one first," replied the auctioneer. "Now, who will take the son?" Finally, a friend of the old man spoke, "Will you take ten dollars for the painting? That’s all I have. I knew the boy, so I’d like to have it."

"I have ten dollars. Will anyone go higher?" called the auctioneer. After more silence, the auctioneer said, "Going once, going twice. Gone." The gavel fell, cheers filled the room and someone exclaimed, "Now we can get on with it and we can bid on these treasures!"

The auctioneer looked at the audience and announced the auction was over. Stunned disbelief quieted the room. Someone spoke up and asked, "What do you mean it’s over? We didn’t come here for a picture of some old guy’s son. What about all of these paintings? There are millions of dollars of art here! I demand that you explain what’s going on here!"

The auctioneer replied, "It’s very simple. According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son…gets it all."

Puts things into perspective doesn’t it? Just as those art collectors discovered on that Christmas Day, the message is still the same: the love of a Father, a Father whose greatest joy came from His Son, who went away and gave His life rescuing others. And because of that Father’s love, whoever takes the Son, gets it all.

– Unknown

Cat jokes

A friend on Facebook had posted this link... cat jokes from Veterinarian office signs:
http://justsomething.co/20-of-the-funniest-cat-jokes-from-vet-clinic-signs/

He asked....

He asked....

She said, "Yes!"

Lawry's provided complementary champagne...

Beautiful ring!

I got reminders from Facebook that Dwayne and I arrived at Quartzsite, AZ for the Christian Fellowship Birds of a Feather gathering 5 years ago today: January 10, 2015.
So Carl and I first met, with our spouses, 5 years ago today.
We had no idea what God had in plan for us at that time...

Apologies for lack of posts!

I apologize for not posting for a few days - we've been busy here around campus and otherwise!

This is from December 26, 2019, when the electricians and other workers replaced the large circuit breaker for the campground... it had become very worn and was tripping quite regularly - cutting power to all the rigs in the campground. It has been nice since it was replaced that the power has remained working consistently!

 

Last week, when we went to Crisis Ministries in Irving on 12/31, the day was so bright and shiny and the Christmas decorations were beautiful!

And, on Friday last week (1/3/2020), we were "undecking the halls" - re-wrapping the Christmas tree and then loading it onto a golf cart to be carried to the warehouse for storage.

I posted back in November when we brought the tree in (http://trekincartwrights.blogspot.com/2019/11/bringing-in-christmas-tree.html) - Friday was the time to take the tree out...

Just a few pictures from the past few days!