A Personal Update

Dear Friends and Family -- I would like to share some news with you that you might find surprising, but which, I hope, you will be appreciative to God for... as I am...

About 5 years ago, Dwayne and I met several Christian couples in Quartzsite, AZ at the Escapees Christian Fellowship RV get-together in the desert. This was before we had decided to go fulltime in the RV, but we were well-along toward making that decision. One of the couples that we met, Sue and Carl Williams, were also recent retirees and were also evaluating going fulltime in their RV. We enjoyed getting to know them, as well as other folks in the Christian Fellowship group. Through the years, we encountered each other several times, at Christian Fellowship gatherings, Escapees Escapades, and, most recently, in the fall of 2018, when they were staying in the Chicago area and we were looking for a campground where we could stay while visiting my aunt in Arlington Heights. We stayed at the same campground and were able to visit with them while we were there.

Then, in early 2019, I lost Dwayne to cancer, after a relatively short illness.... I was devastated... I so loved Dwayne. As I worked through my grief, I have been seeking God to determine what He might have next for me. I have been volunteering at the International Linguistics Center (ILC). I gave God several options of what He might want to choose for me to do "next". I wasn't hearing any answers, but, as I often said to friends who would ask, "It is on a need-to-know basis, and God doesn't think I need to know yet." I was trying to be patient.

Later in 2019, Sue had a relapse of the cancer that she first battled in 2017. The cancer returned with a vengeance. Sue passed away a few months ago...

Carl's posts on Facebook broke my heart; I could identify with so many of the feelings he expressed. I responded to one of his posts, and he emailed me - having been counseled by another couple in our RV Christian Fellowship group that they thought that I had gone through something similar and might have some suggestions on things that helped me. The one thing I have learned through grieving is that everyone's grief is unique, and the only One who really knows what you're going through is God. But, I also have learned, from 2 Corinthians 1, that God comforts us that we might be able to comfort others. (Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Cor 1:3-4). I remember sharing with my counselor here at the ILC that I wished that there was a guy who could walk with Carl through his grief, and, if I recall correctly, he said, "Yes, that would be good, but it would be unlikely... guys just don't."

So, Carl and I started emailing... and... my heart started being drawn to him. I lectured myself, "You're supposed to be comforting him, he isn't someone for you to be interested in!" I asked God to remove these feelings that were not appropriate. Unbeknownst to me, his heart was also being drawn to me... I've gone back and read the emails - there is nothing in them other than our sharing of our grief, prayers for each other, concern... but God started drawing our hearts together. After emailing for a while, Carl recommended that we talk on the phone. On that call, the open, honest communication with each other continued.

So, over the next weeks and months, God developed our friendship -- we seemed to have no limit on how much we had to say in emails and in phone calls. We decided that we'd really like to see each other, so in mid-November, Carl planned to visit me at the ILC. We wanted to consider whether he may want to come to the ILC to volunteer, and for us to determine whether God might want us to pursue a more serious relationship. We had been praying together within our emails and during our phone calls - we only want what God wants in our lives...

Both of us were very nervous that the relationship that we had developed via emails and phone calls would not be able to survive being together in the same place!

Amazingly, (or, maybe not, since God was involved!), our feelings for each other became more apparent when we finally met each other face to face.

So, at the beginning of December, Carl moved his RV to the ILC. We are looking forward to seeing what God will do. We have been praying and seeking God's will. Each of us were blessed to have a long and loving marriage with our late spouses. Each of us are still feeling sorrow in the loss of our spouse. But we are amazed by God bringing us to each other.

By the way, we've been praying for you, too... we've been praying for our friends and family, that God would prepare your hearts for what He is doing with us. We have been so shocked and amazed by what God has built between us, that we can't imagine but that you would also be shocked and incredulous. If we weren't living it, we don't think we could believe it!

So, we would like to ask for your prayers for us - that God will give us wisdom, that He would guide and direct each step, that He would prevent us from making any steps that would not be in His will. We covet your prayers.

By the way - you remember back in the beginning of this "essay", I mentioned that I had offered several options for God to choose from for my next steps? Well... this was NOT on the table - I had NOT offered an option for God to bring me into a relationship. But, I believe that God's hand is in this....

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your prayers...